After I caught my breath running from the train, I came out of the other side of the tunnel unscathed. Now I can not see the forest for the trees. I wish the trees would behave and line up like nice row pines so I can see between them. I have so much to do, but I have to get a grasp on it. I have to get my head around it. There is so many trees and they are all full of branches that are just waiting to block my path through the forest to the other side.
Lucky for me that I have my compass and my walking shoes. I can manage the trail one step at a time. I have to trust the arrow and follow it true to the other side where blue skies await me. I have a plan now along with my compass and a map so I will be all right. I just have to keep praying and trust that God will bring me through it since He brought me to it.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
I need a plan. Change is coming…..it is headed into my life like a freight train. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and….yeah….it is a train. Instead of running with the light at my back screaming in the other direction, I am running toward the light. Playing chicken with something bigger than I am. I am not going to stop running. My hope is that when I get closer the light will get brighter, the whistle will disappear and I will run out of the other side of the tunnel a new person….a stronger person…..a happier person…..I have to be brave and persistent to get to the other side. I can not let the dark sides of the tunnel envelop me….I will not stop. I will prevail. I have no other choice.
Remember back in the 70′s there was a saying on T-shirts, coffee mugs, posters, and countless other things that read “Happiness is….”? There would be countless answers or sometimes just a cute picture of a little boy and girl holding hands. I think, if I remember correctly, it was Precious Moments kids…..Anyway, I always thought it was silly to try to answer that with any sort of thing. Happiness is different for everyone. Some people find happiness in their family, job, hobby, or from doing nothing at all. What exactly is happiness? What makes me happy? Why am I not happy all the time? Happiness is nothing more than an emotion and a state of being. Can I be happy and not feel happy? I think so. I am generally happy. I love my life, yes even the stressful parts. Happiness is an emotion plain and simple. Being happy is a choice. I can chose to be unhappy or I can chose to be happy, just like I can chose to be angry or not. Life is way to short not to be happy, so I chose to be happy where I am. I feel God has brought me to this point in my life for a reason, so I might as well be happy.
Ok I hear it in the back of my head, what about those who are depressed? People who suffer depression cannot chose to be happy. Just be happy, get over it….some people can’t. Those people have a medical condition that may be out of their control. I have been depressed. If I allowed it, I would crawl in the bed and stay there. I have plenty of things to be depressed about. I am not saying that depression does not exist. I am, even today, fighting depression. I never said making the choice to be happy is an easy choice. Sometimes it is anything but easy. It is a matter of having the ability to control your emotions or not. Some people just do not have the ability at times.
So what about being angry? Can a person chose to be angry? Yes, I think so. It is an emotion. I can chose to control my emotions or I can chose to let my emotions control me. I chose to be in control of my emotions, happiness, anger, and all of the others and my life.