On this day in 1969

I was born. Today is my birthday. It has been a perfect day. This morning I picked up my mother and we went to church for a ladies luncheon. Then we went shopping, hung out at her house with my step dad, and spent some time chatting. Shopping consisted of three book stores in an hour. Bought three books, a bag to carry books, and three cd’s. Next I went out to dinner with my husband and he gave me a pink fishing rod and reel. Tomorrow my family is coming to my house for a cook out of hamburgers and hot dogs. All in all my 42nd birthday was very good. A day spent with family and church family is always a good day.

I  looked at Facebook today.  I decided to keep it, but in a very limited way. Mostly for pictures of family. I am not happy about it but I feel forced in to it. I realized I am in control of FB not the other way around. Got a lot of Happy Birthdays on there too, so that was worth it.

:)

The Mystery

I have a mystery to solve. It is a very important elusive mystery. I am open to any ideas anyone may have in how to solve it.

Ok, here it is

How can a 40-ish person, change their career to something they have never done, something that is their passion, AND…..here is the mystery part……make enough money to support the lifestyle that they are custom to? How can a person break into a field they have never tried before? Should they risk their steady income for a maybe income?

It is no secret that I am the person. I want to find a way to write and make a living. The problem is I am terrified to let go of my steady income. I am tired, stressed and unhappy with my current situation, but I have bills to pay. I am not brave enough to step out on faith and just Do it, Mr Nike. I am a chicken. My head s full of what if’s, what if I fail? What if the bills come due and there is no money in the bank to write the checks? Yep I am too scared…..

I know I can hear you now, life is too short to be anything but happy, trust God to provide, and why not take a leap of faith….all the things I tell people I know when they ask me questions about things similar to this quagmire. yea yea yea, I like having electricity, driving a decent car and then there is food and shelter that I am fond of.

I have no idea where to start. I have plenty of ideas mind you, but it is the How To manual I am missing. So if any of you who happen by to read this bit of self-pity have any advice for me, please comment.

Thanks,

Signed,

A scared  to take a chance and step out on faith writer.

Coronation Day

One of my dear friends died today. It was unexpected and yet it shouldn’t be. God’s word says death comes to all of us when it is our time. Christians should not fear death nor should we grieve people who have passed. Even the angels rejoice when a new soul comes to heaven. Death is a celebration of our life with God.

My grandmother lived to be 92 and all of those years she was very frugal. I remember winters when we had to pile on the quilts because she didn’t want to use the heat. Never was a scrap of food wasted or any item unnecessarily bought out of a want. Only needs were met and never a wasteful thought was allowed. She and my grandfather had all their funeral arrangements worked out years before and paid for the arrangements in advanced. I was in shock when I saw the casket that she had picked out for herself. To say it was ornate in an understatement.

I walked in to the chapel to attend her funeral and the entire place was very muted and almost colorless. The carpet was grayish blue and the walls a dull grayish white. The pews were brown with the same grayish blue color on the cushions. At the far end of the long aisle between the pews was a shiny coppery rose gold color casket. As I walked closer the brilliance of the death box was more lucid and shocking to my eyes. The panels were a pearliest white with vivid pink roses painted on the sides and top. The entire length sparkled with pinks, reds, greens and coppers. The thing looked like a jeweler had in lain it with rubies and emeralds. The inside was lined with pink satin that was so luxurious it could have been the most expensive silk. I was amazed that my frugal little German grandmother had spared no expense on her casket. I asked my mother why had she bought such a pretty thing  that was just going to be seen this one day and then placed in a dark vault of concrete and set in a muddy hole.The coffin must have cost a small fortune. The very existence of the thing was completely out of character for my grandmother.  My mother smiled and said, “Your grandmother said that her funeral was her coronation ceremony.”

My grandmother saw death as the day she was crowned a princess of the most high king. Going to heaven was her finest hour. That is how we should view death. When we die, we will be in the presence of God. Death will be our coronation in the royal family of heaven. We shouldn’t grieve our friends and family when they die. Our selfish sadness over not seeing them again should be over shadowed by the fact that they are with God. Our tears should be of joy that we will see them again. They are where we want to be and where we will be if we are right with God.  Our focus should be on giving our lives to God.

Let death be a lesson to you. Pray that God will forgive you and then plan for your own coronation by living a life that is pleasing to the King of Kings.

Stress…EEEEEK

I am feeling very stressed today. Maybe it is the persistent, rudely interrupting cough that has plagued me for the last three or so weeks. “Good Morning, may I help you?”, I say as I answer my office line followed by a spurt of hacking and wheezing noises that I try to desperately to hide from the person listening on the other end. I finally gave up and went home early today. My couch was waiting dutifully for me to crash on it as I barked and swaggered  through the door.

Stress seems to be my constant companion, well stress and my friend the cough. I seem to feel every challenge that I face during my day in my neck and shoulders. I have tried struggling through as a normally do but I can’t keep up. My mind is all over the place. Let me give you a real life example. I normally have about 50 calls per day, 25 visitors per day, 25 to 50 requests to process per day and countless things that pop up to muck up my system of production.  Yeah, I am busy and stressed on a normal day, add a cold and stir with cough…..miserable….Usually, I take the interruptions in stride, deal with it and pick up right where I left off. Oh not today, I found myself snapping at interruptions like a rabid dog. I received a call from someone, asking me to do a thing that is not part of my job and I should have said no in a regretful manner. I didn’t……”Certainly I will do that for you”, I say and in my head I shout, ” Not on the coldest day in Hell sucking on a popsicle.” As I slam the phone receiver down, I growl loudly and run my hands over my burning face. When I recover I look up to see an employee staring at me like I was an slimy alien. Yeah, I probably looked worse. Not my finest hour.

Sitting on my couch reflecting on my behavior, I asked God to forgive me and please take away the stress and this nasty cold from my life. In the chaos of my morning I forgot to start my day with a prayer. I was running late, exhausted from the coughing all night, and was off my game at work from the moment I walked in the door. Forgetting to talk to God does that to me. Sometimes the stress in life distracts me from God, but the important thing is when I realized that I need to ask for help, I stopped and prayed. God is there waiting for me to pull myself together and come to Him.He didn’t go anywhere, I ignored Him.  I am still coughing and tired, but I bet will sleep better tonight since I asked Him to forgive my ugly behavior and said I was sorry.  I hope that I didn’t scare off my office help. I need to remember to apologize to her too.