About Compulsive Writer

I am a compulsive writer. I get an idea in my head and I have to get it on paper at that moment. I cannot wait a second. I have to write it down. I write without reservations. I write for God. It is my mission. I write from my humanity and imperfection. I am simply doing my utmost to follow His will for my life. I write what comes into my head without the advantage or disadvantage of censorship. So take it for what it is worth. If I write something you find worthy of comment, let me know. If you agree or not, tell me anyway. I want to know the reaction my writing gives you, the reader. I am God’s unique creation and I am smart, outgoing, happy, loveable, cute, dependable, creative, kind, full of crap sometimes, and I can keep you guessing about what kind of crazy stunt I am going to pull next! I count blessings, use my imagination, keep confidences, seek wisdom, value truth, accept differences, forgive, love truly, keep an open mind, pray without ceasing, write obsessively and read every book I can get my hands on. God is my compass, inspiration, constant, foundation on which all things in my life are placed. He is the ink in my well, the pages on which I write the words in my soul. This is who I am; an imperfect human called by God to write…I am a writer.

Just who I am

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I know I’m a paradox. I’m a Christian but I refuse to conform to a belief that other Christians tell me I have to agree with because it’s in the Bible”. I will not blindly follow your man-made version of God. I will not accept any premise on the logic that another Christian insists its true without investigation  or that goes against the teachings of Christ. Being a Christian is easy. Love everyone. Serve those who need it most and deserve it least. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. Seek peace.
Yes I cuss sometimes and have gay friends. Sometimes I drink a beer or two. Sometimes I am brutally honest. Am I less a Christian than one who doesn’t do those things?
If you can’t accept me for all the multifaceted things that is who I am ? That’s too bad. I will miss you

2 a.m. Friends

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Aristotle once described a true friend as a “single soul dwelling in two bodies” — but what differentiates a true, lasting friendship from the other relationships we have in our daily lives? I have several friends that I see often, some every day. We talk and do things together. I know out of those friends who  I can call if i have a problem and need help. These friends are not the friends I would call at 2 a.m. if I had an emergency. What is the difference between 2 a.m. friends and non 2 a.m. friends?

I think it is the closeness, deep connection that I feel in my soul that differentiates the friends I will call in the middle of the night and those I won’t call until a decent hour. A 2 a.m. friend is one who I have an unspoken connection with that words can not define. I can’t define it but I can tell you what it looks like in real life.

The most important thing about a 2 a.m. friend is they never give up on me. Even when I have had all I want of life and I want to crawl in a hole a 2 a.m. friend will not let me give up. They might crawl in the hole with me for a little bit, but they will reach in and pull me out kicking and screaming. I can say “I hate you” and they know I don’t mean it. They still love me anyway. They tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it even if it hurts my feelings. They will not let me do anything stupid, at least not alone. A 2 a.m. friend will never abandon me. They are often more loyal to me than some or most of my family members. They have dropped me off at or picked me  up from the airport even when I had a 7 a.m. flight. With 2 a.m. friends I can joke with them in a way I can’t with other friends.Our conversations often begin or end with casual insults and no one gets mad about it. These are the friends that  I am comfortable enough at their place to raid the refrigerator and complain about there being nothing to eat. We borrow each other’s stuff that normal people wouldn’t share. I am not saying we share a toothbrush, but if it so happened that I forgot mine, it would be no big deal. They love my kids like their own. When it is quiet and we don’t have much to say, I never feel obligated to fill that void with empty talk. We can just be in the same breathing space and be relaxed. When we do talk it is about everything and nothing. I can tell them exactly how I feel and they don’t patronize me or belittle my feelings. A 2 a.m friend keeps my secrets always, cries with me, and is there when I need them no questions asked.

All of these things and many more, that my 2 a.m. friend does for me I will also do for them because 2 a.m. friends are a few and far between. When you find one, you are truly blessed.

Be a 2 a.m. friend every chance you get.

Proverbs 18:24 (CEV) “Some friends don’t help,but a true friend is closer than your own family.”

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

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I liked Red Queen at first then I started to experience deja vu. The story is reminiscent of the Hunger Games and Divergent. The characters are very interesting but the story is too similar to so many other young adult stories out there.The plot is regurgitated themes that include forbidden love, the will to win, the inequality between the two races, a revolution of the down trodden and a game of skilled young people killing each other. Sound familiar?   I decided to read it all the way to the end in hopes that the story would surprise me but the end was very flat, anticlimactic and disappointing. I didn’t hate it and will read the next installment of the series. Maybe I will grow to love it.

With that said, Aveyard’s style and writing is smooth and vivid. I am willing to read other things from her because she is a brilliant writer. I read that the author actually envisioned a Grecian/Roman society with electricity. I did not get that from reading the book, so more description of the world she created would have helped.  I hope she has other more original stories to tell. Her use of language to describe the characters was the best part of enduring the boring story. I am thankful that I didn’t buy this book, but borrowed it from the library instead.

 

 

What’s in a Name?

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George Washington Carver once said, “Our creator is the same and never changes despite the names given Him by people here and in all parts of the world. Even if we gave Him no name at all, He would still be there, within us, waiting to give us good on this earth.”

I have never understood why people argue about who God is. It does not matter what religion you subscribe to or what name you pin on God. The creator and the universal greater power is the same god.

When Christians try to put God in a nice neat box and say this God, our God is the only God, they are limiting the very God they claim to be all powerful, all knowing, and omnipresent.

How can an omnipresent God go by one name? How can a spirit who speaks to each soul in a unique way for that soul go by one name?

We Christians say, “God has a plan for your life in His perfect will.” He loves us as individuals. It only stands to reason that each of us will have a personal connection to that power of God and call it what is right for us.

The power of creation, spirit and love that is in the universe, in nature, in us is the One True God. What you call this God is insignificant to the fact that you believe and love.

Even God said to Moses, “I am”. The fact God exists and that we find a connection through love and we share that love with our fellow living creatures, that is what is important.

I choose Christianity to serve God. It is arrogant of me to assume that my God will not reveal Himself to a person who chooses a different way to connect with their spirit. All connections to God are sacred. I will go as far to say that even religions that believe that creation it’s self is a spiritual connection to the true God. All other religions that worship one God is the same true God. The great Spirit, Allah, Yahweh, the Goddess, and other are a different connection to God.

I have not reconciled this truth with to the part of my faith that says 6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know  my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” (John 14: 6-7)  Also, I haven’t connected it to my recent discovery that the Quran mentions Jesus more often that Mohammad. It doesn’t stop there, I see in other religions that there are other stories of the Messiah. These facts and others appear to make the connections between one God and all religions a truth.  

I believe that we Christians are making a big mistake by undermining the scope of who God is. We are molding Him to our image of God, when we should be encouraging others to connect to God in whatever way the spirit is calling them as individuals.

I will continue to search for a closer relationship with God and I encourage you to do the same.

Search for God with love, faith, and hope. The power of God’s Love will find you right where you are.

 

 

 

Struggling

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I am really struggling with God right now. I find myself questioning why things are not going the way I think they should or the way that seems like the best way. I need God to move in my life in a way that is specific, so I pray. I have been here before with God and I know that He always comes through. He keeps His promises and I am always blessed.

This time I am full of doubt that what I need to happen will happen. I keep hearing myself say to God, “Ok, I can do this or that, just let me help move things along, and see what happens.” I instantly know it is the wrong answer. I know that I am to wait, trust and pray. I hate that answer. I want to act…I want  to do something, to react..anything!

Hence the struggle. Sit, wait….listen. remain faithful. Trust that God is in control. When all I want to do is move and fidget with my own ideas that are no where near as good as what God has for me. God’s will for my life is perfect for me. All I have to do is be patient and hold on to faith.

Yeah, easier said than done.

James 1:2-4 (NRSV)
2 My brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; 4 and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

Stuff

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I mentioned before in a recent blog post that I want to downsize my life. I have now devised a plan. I am starting with my phone and other electronics…why are we so dependent on screens? I am downgrading my phone. Really, what one person needs a smart phone, a tablet, two computers, DVR, and two TVs? Seems insane. I hope that the result will be more real in your face time with my friends and family. More real conversations, with real connecting.

I am also looking at other things. I have over one hundred purses, tote bags, and other carrying devices of various shapes and sizes. Oh and shoes! I am up to 70 plus pairs of shoes! Half of which hurt my feet and I don’t wear them.  My library is just a smidgen less that a thousand books.(Well, that is a library not a horde.)  Of course I have a husband with things too. Between us we have three out buildings with stuff. Two small sheds and one barn! We live in a three bedroom house full of stuff. When did things become so important in our lives? OK, in all fairness, some of what we have in storage we inherited from his mother, God rest her soul and our daughter who when she moved out didn’t take all her things, so there is that.

Even though we have a lot of stuff we are very clean and organized people. I can find most everything when I need it. Boxes are labeled and stacked. Books are cataloged as a librarian’s home library should be. There is just so much of it. I have that crazy thought process that all this stuff is stored neatly, not in the way and what if we need it one day. Yeah, that is just crazy. We live in a society that if we need something I can zip down to that bog box store on the corner and get it if we don’t have it. There are so many people in this world, in my town who have nothing and I have too much.

So begins a journey of cleaning out, prioritizing, donating, selling and simplifying. If you need something, you may want to ask me if I have one, chances are I might.

Wish me luck.

 

Sisters and a Brother

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A lot of water has slipped under the bridge of my daughter’s life the past couple of years. She found herself filing for a divorce and now has a new man in her life. When we move throughout our lives things that we did not expect happen do and change abounds. My daughter never expected to have three kids of her own and now she is the adult in the lives of four more children. The children are 16, 13, 9, 7, 7, 6 and 3 years old. I struggle as to what to call my daughter and her beau now. She and he are not step parents. They may very well be one day, but maybe not. That depends on where that water flows to next. Since I can’t find the words I will use what my grand daughter calls “Part Parents”, Part Mom and Part Dad. Sometimes your are mom/Dad. Sometimes I call you by your first name instead. Works for me.

Here are these seven kids six girls and one boy. (He is the one who is 9.) They are together as a result of their parent’s decision to make a life together and co- parent. On the outside if I never told you the background you would think they were all one family that had always been together. The laugh, argue, play and live as a family. The children don’t pay much attention to what the adults do as long as they can play and eat, they are happy. Some get along better than others. Some are closer emotionally than others. Some fuss that a sister had her shoes or a brother is being mean. Sometimes the share toys nicely sometimes they don’t. They hug and say I love you sometimes they don’t. They always share meals together and make sure the little ones have what they need. They girls help each other get dressed in the morning and find that lost shoe again. (Shoes seem to disappear around them.) The brother takes the hand of a younger sister every time they go for a walk or out in a crowded public place.The look out for each other and protect each other too. They call each other “friend” and “Stister”. (No I didn’t misspell sister, that’s how the little ones say it.)  There is much happiness and love that revolves around them and you when you are with them. There is no hate and very little discontentment. They are children so sometimes one gets mad and sometimes there are tears and whining. The volume is loud. There is no quiet except when they are all sleeping. Sounds like a regular family to me.

Watching them play and interact I have learned that no matter what happens in life, when you are a family, it matters. How you got there, isn’t as important as the fact you are together and you are a family. These seven children didn’t ask for the life they got, but they are finding ways to make it work for them.

We could all take a lesson from these kids. How we got here isn’t as important as the fact that we are here. We are a family of humans in 2015 trying to get along and do life. It matters not if you support gay rights or confederate flags flying. What matters is that we are a family. It matters not what side for the aisle you find your views. It matters not what name you call God, we are a family.

As long as we all have food, shelter, clothing, can play, love, and survive. We should be happy. That should be our focus.