About Compulsive Writer

I am a compulsive writer. I get an idea in my head and I have to get it on paper at that moment. I cannot wait a second. I have to write it down. I write without reservations. I write for God. It is my mission. I write from my humanity and imperfection. I am simply doing my utmost to follow His will for my life. I write what comes into my head without the advantage or disadvantage of censorship. So take it for what it is worth. If I write something you find worthy of comment, let me know. If you agree or not, tell me anyway. I want to know the reaction my writing gives you, the reader. I am God’s unique creation and I am smart, outgoing, happy, loveable, cute, dependable, creative, kind, full of crap sometimes, and I can keep you guessing about what kind of crazy stunt I am going to pull next! I count blessings, use my imagination, keep confidences, seek wisdom, value truth, accept differences, forgive, love truly, keep an open mind, pray without ceasing, write obsessively and read every book I can get my hands on. God is my compass, inspiration, constant, foundation on which all things in my life are placed. He is the ink in my well, the pages on which I write the words in my soul. This is who I am; an imperfect human called by God to write…I am a writer.

Have you ever….


Have you ever woke up and just said..”No, I just don’t want to do life today. I think I will stay right here.”

Have you ever just given up on life? Maybe you didn’t think about suicide, maybe you did. Maybe you just didn’t want to participate in living.

Have you ever just said, “I don’t want to play today.”

Maybe you can’t take another hit, another let down, or another crisis.

Have you ever just called in to work just because you couldn’t do it again.

Maybe you even sent you significant other’s call straight to voice mail because you just don’t want to hear it again.

Maybe you have looked at that negative bank account and realized you may not eat this week.

Life…it’s hard. It’s hard in a million ways. It can knock you down and kick you while you are flat on your butt and can’t move. Life is an evil B*&#@. It will take your last dime, suck away your last grain of motivation, and laugh at you while you beg for mercy. As you are dropping tears in the dark that no one sees, that no one cares about, hurting and wanting it all to just go away, life will say, “but there’s more” and you will get all that again and worse that the first fifty rounds.

Have you ever thought, “Who’s going to miss me? Who will care if I just don’t show up today?”

We have all been there. We have all said or thought these things….at least once in life….sometimes more than once.

There is an answer….I know you know in your heart that there is someone who cares about you…If you didn’t’ believe that then you wouldn’t be here to read this today.

I know that when life zaps your energy you feel weak and just can’t find the joy that you once had.

I can tell you that there is an answer, WAIT. I know seems so simple….just wait.

Wait for God to renew your strength. Wait for the right time to move. Wait for the right moment. Wait just a minute or two…maybe a day, week, month….year.

Stand on His word and wait with a purpose. Look in that drawer where you stuck that book..get out that Bible, dust it off and READ it.

Trust your gut. Don’t let someone else tell you what you know is right.

Pray…seek out His comfort. Pray for light, for guidance, for peace, just PRAY.

Wait for the power of His spirit. Trust with your heart in what you know is true.

God will give you the power  and strength to carry on.

There is one more thing….when you know it is time to move, when God says get up out of that hole you put yourself in or that life threw you in…don’t hesitate….MOVE.

Get up and go through the motions of life. Take your kicking screaming inner self to the shower, get dressed and go to work, school…or wherever you are supposed to go…but GO.

Grab that second wind, hold on with all you got and ride it to where you are destined to go. Tell that mountain to get out of your way, learn your mission, grab your armor, your sword and go.  Find that road to Zion and start walking.

Will you feel better, maybe. Will life get better, maybe…maybe not, but you can’t let the bad things in life win. You have the power and your know the source.

Now show that B*&#@,life who’s boss and who’s got your back!

What is happening here?


I am learning a lesson. I am certain that God is teaching me to trust him. I am struggling with the fact that I am happier now than I have been in years, yet there is this an underlying issue that I am not ready to face. As I think about who I am and what that means for me I am stunned that I ever worry about anything.

I am a child of God. Think about that a minute. A child of God. We belong to the creator of the universe. He created us to love and to be loved. Some Christians, at times me too, we focus on Jesus and the fact that He died for us. We worry and fret that we are lowly and not worthy of His sacrifice. We forget that He came off that cross and rose to a higher purpose. He did not mean for us to wallow in muck of our sin and unworthiness. He wants us to follow Him. Not just in what He did in His life and death, but what He did after. We leave Him on the cross in our hearts when we should follow Him for the rest of the story. Take Him down from the cross already.

We need to remember that the story did not end at His death. We are to live in the truth that He has already defeated the enemy and we are to share in the glory of God. Share the story and live as if we are already there in the presence of God. We are to love God, share the love of Jesus with everyone, seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving
our neighbor as ourself. We are to strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being. To do that we simply need to love and let love guide all our actions.

It’s that easy. Get out of that muck, love everyone and live for Jesus. I promise  it will be worth it.

Trust God


All my life I had this image of who I would be when I became an adult. I am nothing like that image. I have not landed in the career I thought I would be working in and I have not landed in the city that I thought I would live. I am nothing like what I thought I would be. I am not any better or worse. I may not be affluent as I imagined I would be. I can attribute a lot of this to how I was raised. My parents, grandparents and other adults in my life said to me “You can be what you want to be.” While that is true in a sense we are also bound by our station in life. Where we are in society, how much money we have and how much determination we have, and our level of discipline play a part of where we go in life. There is also the factor of our faith.

The most significant factor on what we can accomplish in life is our faith. Our faith in ourselves and faith that we made the right choice are vital to success. If we lack faith in just one of these areas we can fail, but if we lose our faith in God we are certain to fail. Will we trust God enough to provide for what we need? Will we allow him to lead us to our future? What if what we want is in stark contrast to what God wants for us? We have to trust that God is in control even when we feel He is not. We have to believe that He is there at work even if we can’t see any results yet. This is difficult and we often give up.

We can break those bounds and be more than what we think, more than society says we can be. We must not give up. We must keep trusting God. We can not allow the alternative to be an option. We can’t trust feelings or emotions or even what we see around us. We must trust God is keeping His promise to protect and keep us. When the road of our life is darkest  God is working for us for the benefit not of us but for His kingdom of which we are a part. We must hold on until the light shines on us again.


Less Church More Jesus


I have been a church slacker this Summer. I have been in Sunday services about half of the time. The strangest thing is I feel closer to God than I have in a long time. My prayer life is solid and I can feel the Spirit moving in my life, in my family’s life. I went to church this week and realized that God was calling me home. I felt a great peace sitting on the pew. It wasn’t a special service. It was a normal every Sunday regular service but I was home. What is more, my daughter, 700 plus miles away in a different state, went back to her home church and had the same experience. Nothing special happen and her church either, she was welcomed home with peace. I could over analyze the experience we both had. I could grab theology all over the place to explain it, the prodigal son comes to mind, but I choose to accept it as God pulling us back to Him.  It was time that we returned to Him for the next move. He has plans for our family and He knows we will need His strength. I know it too. I hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit in the wind, soon it will be time for action, but for now we are to rest in the shadow of His wings.

Sometimes it is not religion or church that you need but the presence of God to ground you and your life. Whatever is in our future I know that if I count on Jesus to be there, to be our fortress and our courage, we will get through it.


Where is God?


I have to wonder why people don’t believe in God. I can’t imagine not believing in God. How can a person look at this world and think nope, no God? It all just appeared from some big bang. (Not to be confused with the Big Bang Theory TV show that I love. Bazinga)

To me each possibility is sort of the same. Believing that a being that we never see created this place we call home and really cares about what happens with us is just as hard to wrap your head around as some of the scientific theory that  a cosmic accident created us.

The big question is where is God? In this world of war, devastating weather and evil people, where is God? Why is God, if He exists, not stopping some of this bad stuff that is happening all around us? I have one answer, free will.

We all have free will. We have the free will to call on God or not. We have the free will to talk to God or not. Are you praying? Are you asking God to come help intervene? No? Oh that’s right! You don’t’ believe He exists. So, why would you expect Him to come in to this life of yours and fix things for you if you do not believe in Him? He is not going to act in your life until you get on your knees and ask Him to be present.

All I can tell you is, I have seen God act in the lives of believers, me included. The catch is you have to ask. You have to make the move to accept God. That’s how it works. Simple act of faith. If you can believe that this world came from nothing how much more of a reach is it to think a God created it? Maybe He caused the big bang in the first place?  It isn’t that far a stretch. It’s all simple really.

Matt 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

With Me


Holy Spirit, Come in this place and fill every corner every space. Hear my prayer, my cry my soul’s one desire. To be near you…to be filled with you…to experience your glory.

This is my cry in the dark and in the depths of my heart. I am broken and you are the only fix for me. You are beautiful and complete…..oh, how I love you Lord and want to be engulfed in your peace.

I was lost but you found me. You didn’t have to look for me but you did. You found me. By grace, your amazing grace I am found….I am no longer a crying lost soul.

Life is bright and full of love and….joy. Without you I was nothing, now I am everything with you.

I know you are here with me as I walk…as I live….as I work my way through this insignificant life trying to do significant things to share your love, you are with me. I sing and praise you all the day long. I am at your feet…living in the shadow of you.

I live in the reassurance that I know I can not be separated from you. I am yours in a way that I can’t explain.

All I want is you, Lord, with me. Always.






Pentecost and the Holy Spirit


I know the passage below is more that I usually post at one time of the Bible. I usually stick to a verse or two,  but it seemed that if I did not give the whole passage to you as a reference my next words would seem out of context.

Acts 2:1-13 (CEV)

2 On the day of Pentecost all the Lord’s followers were together in one place. 2 Suddenly there was a noise from heaven like the sound of a mighty wind! It filled the house where they were meeting. 3 Then they saw what looked like fiery tongues moving in all directions, and a tongue came and settled on each person there. 4 The Holy Spirit took control of everyone, and they began speaking whatever languages the Spirit let them speak.

5 Many religious Jews from every country in the world were living in Jerusalem. 6 And when they heard this noise, a crowd gathered. But they were surprised, because they were hearing everything in their own languages. 7 They were excited and amazed, and said:

Don’t all these who are speaking come from Galilee? 8 Then why do we hear them speaking our very own languages? 9 Some of us are from Parthia, Media, and Elam. Others are from Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, Asia, 10 Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, parts of Libya near Cyrene, Rome, 11 Crete, and Arabia. Some of us were born Jews, and others of us have chosen to be Jews. Yet we all hear them using our own languages to tell the wonderful things God has done.

This is the exact moment when the first Christians were filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues. Notice that there is no account of any of them speaking some gibberish confusing language.Notice that someone there can understand them. There is no talk of a spiritual language, they are all speaking some sort of language that men have spoken before.  Notice also in the passage above no one fell out slain on the floor. There is no flopping around.

I avoid churches today that say that their members have the gift of speaking in tongues. I know that the gift still exists. I am not doubting that the Holy spirit who descended in Acts could still descend today. I am certain that same Holy spirit does not cause confusion and that someone will always know what the person speaking in the foreign language  is saying. Be Careful friends what you allow your heart to be exposed too. Make sure that you use the good sense that God gave you and examine what you see. If the Holy Spirit is in you and you trust Him, you will know if what you are seeing is real or not. The Holy Spirit will reveal Himself to you and He will also reveal frauds.

I truly believe that when the Holy speaks to you or me we know it as fact. We hear Him, we senses His presence in a very real way. There is no confusion as to if it is our emotional response or if He is really there. God’s presence through the Holy Spirit is enough to send us to our knees. It will cause tears to flow because our sin and unworthiness will also be revealed. Bottom line, we will know the truth. The Holy Spirit reveals truth.