About Compulsive Writer

I am a compulsive writer. I get an idea in my head and I have to get it on paper at that moment. I cannot wait a second. I have to write it down. I write without reservations. I write for God. It is my mission. I write from my humanity and imperfection. I am simply doing my utmost to follow His will for my life. I write what comes into my head without the advantage or disadvantage of censorship. So take it for what it is worth. If I write something you find worthy of comment, let me know. If you agree or not, tell me anyway. I want to know the reaction my writing gives you, the reader. I am God’s unique creation and I am smart, outgoing, happy, loveable, cute, dependable, creative, kind, full of crap sometimes, and I can keep you guessing about what kind of crazy stunt I am going to pull next! I count blessings, use my imagination, keep confidences, seek wisdom, value truth, accept differences, forgive, love truly, keep an open mind, pray without ceasing, write obsessively and read every book I can get my hands on. God is my compass, inspiration, constant, foundation on which all things in my life are placed. He is the ink in my well, the pages on which I write the words in my soul. This is who I am; an imperfect human called by God to write…I am a writer.

Is this weird?

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I was looking at Facebook, you know the greatest time suck ever invented. I was scrolling through the river of people in the “People you may know” section when I realized I do not know about 95% of the smiling faces. I was saying, “I don’t know you, I don’t know you, I don’t know you, cute hair….” on and on. Then it was “OOO, you look fun.” I click the picture and read the person’s profile. I see we read the same sorts of books and like the same sorts of movies. It struck me that, no I don’t know the person, but maybe they would like to know me. I mean we have a mutual friend and she likes me.

Is it weird to send a message and say “You don’t know me but I think you would like me since so-&-so likes me”….?

Then I ask myself, what would you do if you got a message like that?

It would go something like, oh a message…..no.. I do not know you, FB stalker!

I think I will keep scrolling on the off chance that the 5% of people I know may still want to talk to me.

Like I said, biggest time suck EVER invented.

Words,Quotes and pictures of feeling

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I am struck by all the quotes that pop up on social media. It is lovely that people have taken the time to make all the pretty words even prettier with pictures and fluffy fonts. (It’s so pretty.)  Isn’t it strange how people latch on to these quotes like they are manna from heaven?

I think it would be prettier if people said what was in their heart and mind without posting pretty quotes. Besides, misquoting others can have dire consequences and it makes the poster (quoter?) look dumb as a rock. I really get irritated when I am misquoted and I bet most people do to. As not to be a hypocrite I must say that I have used pretty quoted pictures on my Facebook too. Sad but true.

Use you own words once in a while. It is all fun and games to use other people’s words when you feel a feeling you can’t find the words to describe. From my experience though that I don’t know what to say feeling will pass.

If you want it pretty and special, make your own graphic. There is an app or two for that I imagine.

To get us started here is one of mine…..took me 30 seconds to create it. quotescover-PNG-9

Distracted vs Preoccupation

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I was watching the news this morning, something I do out of habit more than genuine concern for what is happening in the world. Sad I know. I was struck with amazement when a story ran about a father who left his daughter, less that two years old in a parked car at a train station while he boarded a commuter train to work. He called 911 and told them his baby love was in the car and he was frantically headed back on a train. He pleaded with them to send help, they did. The little girl was found safe.

How is it that we are so distracted as a society that we now leave not just our groceries, briefcases, cell phones, keys, and occasionally pets in the car but our children? What is more important in your life than your child?

I look at society and cringe when I see what is happening all around. The distracted people bump in to each other on the sidewalk without even looking up much less saying excuse me. They ignore loved ones in restaurants. I thought it is all because of cell phones, but clearly it isn’t. What went through this dad’s mind as he was driving to catch his train to work that caused him to check out enough to forget the sweet darling in the back seat? I don’t want to get all hokey pokey the devil made me do it, but I am sure this event is something that makes the evil in this world smile. Devil 1 Human 0.

It is preoccupation rather than distraction. Our minds don’t focus as they used to. We are preoccupied with work, bills, taking care of family, money, what are we doing with grandma, but wait….weren’t our parents preoccupied with the same things? Why is it that so many people are diagnosed with ADD now more than before? Is it that we just didn’t have a name for it then?

No, our life styles have changed in this gilded technology world  we now live in. Our focus is on what this or that device can do. Look at a normal person’s calendar, not on a fridge but on their tablet. They have appointments deadlines back to back. They are too busy controlling life with electronics that they are not living it. They are going through the motions of living. That is where the forgetting happens. In that space between looking at the screen and solidifying it in the memory of our brains.

I just hope our children can survive this and forgive us when they are grown ups sitting in therapist offices explaining how their moms and dads ignored them to the point she/he forgot them in the car when they, our most precious possessions, were infants

Have you ever….

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Have you ever woke up and just said..”No, I just don’t want to do life today. I think I will stay right here.”

Have you ever just given up on life? Maybe you didn’t think about suicide, maybe you did. Maybe you just didn’t want to participate in living.

Have you ever just said, “I don’t want to play today.”

Maybe you can’t take another hit, another let down, or another crisis.

Have you ever just called in to work just because you couldn’t do it again.

Maybe you even sent you significant other’s call straight to voice mail because you just don’t want to hear it again.

Maybe you have looked at that negative bank account and realized you may not eat this week.

Life…it’s hard. It’s hard in a million ways. It can knock you down and kick you while you are flat on your butt and can’t move. Life is an evil B*&#@. It will take your last dime, suck away your last grain of motivation, and laugh at you while you beg for mercy. As you are dropping tears in the dark that no one sees, that no one cares about, hurting and wanting it all to just go away, life will say, “but there’s more” and you will get all that again and worse that the first fifty rounds.

Have you ever thought, “Who’s going to miss me? Who will care if I just don’t show up today?”

We have all been there. We have all said or thought these things….at least once in life….sometimes more than once.

There is an answer….I know you know in your heart that there is someone who cares about you…If you didn’t’ believe that then you wouldn’t be here to read this today.

I know that when life zaps your energy you feel weak and just can’t find the joy that you once had.

I can tell you that there is an answer, WAIT. I know seems so simple….just wait.

Wait for God to renew your strength. Wait for the right time to move. Wait for the right moment. Wait just a minute or two…maybe a day, week, month….year.

Stand on His word and wait with a purpose. Look in that drawer where you stuck that book..get out that Bible, dust it off and READ it.

Trust your gut. Don’t let someone else tell you what you know is right.

Pray…seek out His comfort. Pray for light, for guidance, for peace, just PRAY.

Wait for the power of His spirit. Trust with your heart in what you know is true.

God will give you the power  and strength to carry on.

There is one more thing….when you know it is time to move, when God says get up out of that hole you put yourself in or that life threw you in…don’t hesitate….MOVE.

Get up and go through the motions of life. Take your kicking screaming inner self to the shower, get dressed and go to work, school…or wherever you are supposed to go…but GO.

Grab that second wind, hold on with all you got and ride it to where you are destined to go. Tell that mountain to get out of your way, learn your mission, grab your armor, your sword and go.  Find that road to Zion and start walking.

Will you feel better, maybe. Will life get better, maybe…maybe not, but you can’t let the bad things in life win. You have the power and your know the source.

Now show that B*&#@,life who’s boss and who’s got your back!

What is happening here?

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I am learning a lesson. I am certain that God is teaching me to trust him. I am struggling with the fact that I am happier now than I have been in years, yet there is this an underlying issue that I am not ready to face. As I think about who I am and what that means for me I am stunned that I ever worry about anything.

I am a child of God. Think about that a minute. A child of God. We belong to the creator of the universe. He created us to love and to be loved. Some Christians, at times me too, we focus on Jesus and the fact that He died for us. We worry and fret that we are lowly and not worthy of His sacrifice. We forget that He came off that cross and rose to a higher purpose. He did not mean for us to wallow in muck of our sin and unworthiness. He wants us to follow Him. Not just in what He did in His life and death, but what He did after. We leave Him on the cross in our hearts when we should follow Him for the rest of the story. Take Him down from the cross already.

We need to remember that the story did not end at His death. We are to live in the truth that He has already defeated the enemy and we are to share in the glory of God. Share the story and live as if we are already there in the presence of God. We are to love God, share the love of Jesus with everyone, seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving
our neighbor as ourself. We are to strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being. To do that we simply need to love and let love guide all our actions.

It’s that easy. Get out of that muck, love everyone and live for Jesus. I promise  it will be worth it.

Trust God

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All my life I had this image of who I would be when I became an adult. I am nothing like that image. I have not landed in the career I thought I would be working in and I have not landed in the city that I thought I would live. I am nothing like what I thought I would be. I am not any better or worse. I may not be affluent as I imagined I would be. I can attribute a lot of this to how I was raised. My parents, grandparents and other adults in my life said to me “You can be what you want to be.” While that is true in a sense we are also bound by our station in life. Where we are in society, how much money we have and how much determination we have, and our level of discipline play a part of where we go in life. There is also the factor of our faith.

The most significant factor on what we can accomplish in life is our faith. Our faith in ourselves and faith that we made the right choice are vital to success. If we lack faith in just one of these areas we can fail, but if we lose our faith in God we are certain to fail. Will we trust God enough to provide for what we need? Will we allow him to lead us to our future? What if what we want is in stark contrast to what God wants for us? We have to trust that God is in control even when we feel He is not. We have to believe that He is there at work even if we can’t see any results yet. This is difficult and we often give up.

We can break those bounds and be more than what we think, more than society says we can be. We must not give up. We must keep trusting God. We can not allow the alternative to be an option. We can’t trust feelings or emotions or even what we see around us. We must trust God is keeping His promise to protect and keep us. When the road of our life is darkest  God is working for us for the benefit not of us but for His kingdom of which we are a part. We must hold on until the light shines on us again.

 

Less Church More Jesus

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I have been a church slacker this Summer. I have been in Sunday services about half of the time. The strangest thing is I feel closer to God than I have in a long time. My prayer life is solid and I can feel the Spirit moving in my life, in my family’s life. I went to church this week and realized that God was calling me home. I felt a great peace sitting on the pew. It wasn’t a special service. It was a normal every Sunday regular service but I was home. What is more, my daughter, 700 plus miles away in a different state, went back to her home church and had the same experience. Nothing special happen and her church either, she was welcomed home with peace. I could over analyze the experience we both had. I could grab theology all over the place to explain it, the prodigal son comes to mind, but I choose to accept it as God pulling us back to Him.  It was time that we returned to Him for the next move. He has plans for our family and He knows we will need His strength. I know it too. I hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit in the wind, soon it will be time for action, but for now we are to rest in the shadow of His wings.

Sometimes it is not religion or church that you need but the presence of God to ground you and your life. Whatever is in our future I know that if I count on Jesus to be there, to be our fortress and our courage, we will get through it.